There’s a distinct line between BDSM activities and abuse, it being consent. I am a part of many communities online and places of discussion about the lifestyles and practices and there are many occasions that sound like it’s a situation of abuse of rights, mental abuse, and physical abuse.
There are many types of people in this world. That said, a “Dominant” personality may be a control freak with a need for power more than they are loving and protective. While there is a notion that Dominants are “supposed” to be all of the above there is no set rule to abide by. Any dynamic and every relationship is different, and there are no guidelines but the ones you create in your own dynamic.
Where I see things go awry is when there is a lack of communication. In any given submissive type there may be a need for guidance or need for love and attention. Psychosocially, this may be a legitimate lack of it in their lives outside of the lifestyle or it can be that they are, in their day to day, a naturally dominant personality with a need to feel submissive.
A submissive who feels they need to have someone be proud of them may think they are willing to do things they aren’t necessarily comfortable with, but will agree to please their dominant. A dominant may be someone who enjoys taking advantage of things, and people, and not notice or care about the true reason this submissive is allowing everything to happen.
My point here is that different people are in this lifestyle for very different reasons, and that may play a part in how much they are willing to do and take. Communicating and knowing what you’re dealing with is a huge part of the relationship. Even a non-committed relationship it is still a relationship and there are still lines.
Please make sure you communicate with each other, and as importantly, be honest with yourself about what you’re willing to do to someone and for someone.
Play safe! X