The universe of BDSM is about much more than pain and sex. Shocking, right? I feel like pop culture has brought to light the idea of pain and black lace as essential elements of our bubble, which isn’t always the case.
In my practice the senses are crucial to the environment, and thus the experience. I like a certain music and smell in the room. Ambiance is important to my pleasure, especially in scenes or sessions. I am at my best when I can walk into a room and feel 100% dominant, respected, and worshipped. For me, the environment has a lot to do with that. Some don’t need music or scent to feel empowered in their position.
The point of this post is to shed light on the fact that though pain and sex are integral parts of some BDSM dynamics, they are not necessarily so in all. Many people do not enjoy giving or receiving pain, and many do not need a power dynamic to have a successful relationship of sorts. To be in the lifestyle, to determine yourself as a BDSM practitioner, does not require every sub-category be met. There is such a wide variety of practices and with every couple having their own way of doing things it’s almost impossible to count them. Though there are definite guides to the lifestyle and commonalities many people share (like having a role) these things vary, and to say that everyone who is into BDSM is into pain or humiliation is wrong.
The beauty in all of this is finding your own path, your own practice and identity in a universe of sexual variety.
Play safe! X