Lifestyle Crossovers

Many areas of the BDSM lifestyle can tie into each other. For example a Dominant can also be a Masochist. The only lines are the ones you place upon your relationship. Many practitioners disagree with this as a fundamental deviance of the traditional BDSM norms. I see BDSM as a deviance of the norm itself, thus a great place to trial.

I am the one in charge and I love receiving and giving pain, thus I consider myself a Dominant, but also a sadist and masochist. It took me a while to become okay with being more than a sadistic Dominant, admitting to masochism. I like pain, but there’s something about ordering my submissive to hurt me that still puts me in a vulnerable spot and I don’t like feeling that way. It’s been this way our whole relationship and I still struggle with the concept.

Today I made it a point to reach out to the BDSM community to see what other people struggling with this think and I hope to gain wisdom to remain feeling like a Dominant when I am receiving pain.


2 thoughts on “Lifestyle Crossovers

  1. This is an interesting concept. While you like the pain your submissive inflicts, you do not like the vulnerable position it puts you in. This would mean pain is not something negative, like pleasure it is something your submissive can please you with. I would therefore suggest treating it in the same way as pleasure.

    Does he enjoy pain as well? Have you ever rewarded him with pain? If (some level) of pain is seen as something pleasurable, it could be used as a reward. That will make it easier to see the giving of pain as something he does for you, not to you.

    To avoid the vulnerable position while he pleases you this way, would mean you’d have to be in control of how he offers this pain. I am assuming you train your submissive in pleasuring you in the best possible way. You should thus also train him to hurt you in the way you enjoy it the most. Because if you’re training him, you’re still fully in control.

    You’re not allowing him to hurt you. You’re not putting him in control. You’re making him hurt you. You’re in charge and he better hurt you the way you like it. Or else…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I enjoy pain, he does not. Thus, this is a punishment for him. I do tell him how to instill pain on me, with what, and how hard. I am very much in control of the situation however the way I see his vulnerability in receiving pain, I almost feel empathy to that level.


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